I have been going through some profound changes and realizations again, some I can't even describe, but through it all I have found my inner voice. We have been processing some of the beliefs I held previously and examining the connection and patterning of all of existence. I have come across some amazing Souls who think as I do, some I have not met personally, but I know them on another level.
Amongst the many things I have been rediscovering is the ability to love unconditionally, and what I mean is that I no longer see a person as an individual human form, although I see the individual Essence, I see them as part of the whole. And I can't help but feel love for everyone. I know I did before, but not at this inner level, I had to break free from my programming and suffer a death of sorts. The funny thing is that I truly felt a death but in this body, wide awake, and this one was so profound as an aspect being crucified.
I have had several of these from other aspects, but not this profound, It was a process over two days, and it started with my ankles, they hurt like they were broken, it was hard to walk, my neck, back and shoulders froze up, and my head hurt like it was in a vice. My hands had horrible pains in them and then I felt this massive jab in my liver so that it took my breath away. It felt as though blood was flowing down my body. I got really hot and thank goodness it was naptime, so I could lay down as I was so sick that I was overcome with nausea. I felt at the same time, a strange warmth sweep over me and assure me I was fine, it was not a physical issue.
All of a sudden while awake, I had a vision of being on a ridge, the sky was full of smoke, and I could see fires and hear wailing. I looked out and saw crosses all across over the edge of a hill, so many I gasped in sorrow, I felt the connection to them and I was overcome in my physical body with gut wrenching emotions as my soul pleaded to end their suffering and in that moment -I forgot my own position and my own pain. I felt them as myself, I cried out, "please release them!" I wanted their souls free from their suffering bodies, and with that came the realization that they must release themselves, only they keep themselves there.
Another warm wave swept over me and I realized there was no pain, the emotion stopped and I felt warm liquid fill me and pour out through every cell of my body. As I lifted I went elsewhere, I could feel movement of my body, as though someone had removed it and was carrying it, I glimpsed once in a while some humans tending to my body, cleansing and wrapping, and I felt pure joy for their promises kept. I could see the opening of a cave, red rock surrounding me, again I went travelling and I could see a dirt road full of fall leaves.
I wanted to see the leaves and this road in all its beauty and watch the wind brush against the many trees living so harmoniously; my friends, my solace and I felt gratitude for this; my own creation of beauty. With this the vision faded and I found myself calm and free and I relaxed my body and allowed the energy to fill me once again, and awaken my physical body to the new body which I now am in; to realize this is my new creation and I laughed at the pure joy I felt. Such freedom I have never known, such love and such clarity.
I remembered feeling the pain, and I remembered the soul separating, and felt it, I heard the rain and wind during this, I heard the dog breathing, I heard the neighbours, I heard Sophia taking to me, and I heard my body talking to her. There were so many things happening that I can not deny this was a real event, and I now have access to so many things that I did not see previously. I feel an overwhelming love for all of creation, and for all those who have helped me to awaken and still do.
I can see the patterns which create everything, the unification of all life through these patterns and the realization that they are all only varying degrees of the spectrum. Good and bad, dark and light, happy and sad, love and hate all are aspects of the same patterns in varying degrees of vibration and light. What this means, is that our physical denseness is a creation to reflect where we are at vibrationally, and how much light we can access.
This reflected creation provides us with areas we need to work on, and the beauty of this is if you want to release yourself from your cross, you need to go within yourself and find out why the creation around you shows you sorrow and pain. What areas need cleansing?
When you begin to see beauty, love and joy in every occurrence in your life, guess what you have become... the very vibration of beauty, love and joy. I had a glimpse of this the day before this event, when I realized, I am not here to fix others, I am here to see myself through others, and through them reawaken to myself. And when I reawaken to myself, I in turn help everyone. Because I am no longer attached to them individually, but collectively, I allow them to be and experience, who they choose to be. Knowing that by raising my vibration and allowing my light to shine, I in effect, do the same for them.
This is why I am seeing so many beautiful beings around me, because I finally see my own beauty. I have been guided and am being led to embrace my path and though I may be letting go of who I once was, I am becoming who I AM. I have been honouring others for a long time, and I have been honouring my spirit, but I now have come to honour my own physical body which allows me this experience.
In Love. In Gratitude. I AM love.